Is there adequate punishment given to the crime of sexual harassment, be it walking the town during the day, at work or on a night out with friends. Many women have to walk the world dealing with inappropriate unmannerly comments and to be quite frank, it’s unnecessary and extremely uncomfortable. But of course we ignore it, try to move past it and move on with our day. Of course, some individuals won’t get the hint and further harass these women. It can lead to stalking, texts, inappropriate touches and so on. As women, we don't have much to defend ourselves with, given the major biological difference in strength. We are left defenseless. When we do decide to report it, which is fairly uncommon, we aren’t taken seriously and not believed. Law enforcement typically have their spiel of “are you sure it happened like this?” or “are you sure you said no properly?”, as if '‘no'‘ isn’t answer enough. That is to say, we may have laws to protect women but they aren’t being upheld to the standard that is expected or needed in society. The punishment for perpetrating sex crimes isn’t enough, as most cases are thrown out due to the lack of physical evidence. When there is significant physical evidence, we usually hear “she likes it rough” as an excuse to get away with it, and because it’s a he/said she/said situation, the perpetrator is usually let away Scot free. Further investigation and more female self defense equipment is needed.

I absolutely believe the courts are far too lenient when it comes to sex crimes. As I write, this I’m reading the story of a 53 year old male that sexually assaulted a young 13 year old girl. He inappropriately touched a 13 year old, a minor, an innocent little girl, as she and her family were aboard a flight, on their way to visit family. What should be an exciting adventurous trip full of family fun turned into a life altering, traumatic experience. As it is written in the news article, the girl has completely changed since the ordeal. She has become disconnected, withdrawn and of course, traumatized by the experience. And guess what, he only got 5 years in prison. A pedophile only got 5 years in prison. This is the exact reason these sick individuals don’t see any harm in what they do. The punishment does not fit the crime, as when he comes out, he will more than likely re-offend. The stakes of committing a crime like this should be a lot higher. So much so, that they are so petrified what would happen to them, that they don’t give it second thought. Many of these stories are hidden assault, sexual assault, harassment and rape. But when you enter the words ‘sexual assault’ into google news, stories from 1 hour ago to 1 week ago pop up. So it shows that every hour, there is a new story of harassment.

It's known that if people consume drugs or alcohol, that they may be left more vulnerable to coercion and force. When one consumes these substances, inhibitions are lowered for both parties, the victim and the attacker. The attacker may not consider or analyze his/her actions and run more on impulse than thought alone. Still, this does not excuse the actions of the attacker, though it must be said for the sake of discussion. The perverse individuals of society don’t need alcohol in order to have these thoughts. It’s the drink that gives them the confidence to follow through on their actions and, in most cases, it is those who we know well and would consider a friend or an acquaintance, that perpetrate the crimes of sexual assault and rape.

When the victim is in an altered state of mind due to substances, predators may cease the opportunity as their victim will be slower, may be asleep, may not be able to recall details later on and is easier controlled due to the drugs and/or drink. In male/female friendships, I know far too many stories of the so called “best friend” being the male committing heinous acts against the female as she slept, being in such a drunken state she was unable to move, and many girls will have similar stories, whether it's something that has happened to them personally or to a close friend of theirs. People will say it’s the woman's fault for being in such a drunken state or being under any influence, as if we were asking for it, but of course, it is not our fault. We are allowed to be human, we are allowed to experiment and should feel safe to do so. Especially if we are around those who we call our friends.

On another note some people may be under the influence of drugs and not even know it. Spiking has become a major issue in society. Spiking is the term used when an individual consumes something (drugs or alcohol) without their knowledge, and it alters the physical and mental state of the victim. Typically, the drug would be put into a drink, especially in bars/pubs and nightclubs. I can recall back in 2021, when we were all allowed out of cages and there was story after story in England and Ireland, about women getting spiked in clubs when the lockdown bans were lifted. There were new methods of spiking individuals, primarily young women, and it entailed entering a crowded space and injecting women with substances through needles. Iit didn't have to be put into a drink and consumed. Any warning signs that we had learned to look out for became useless, it was truly the stuff of nightmares. After a couple months of being in a full on lockdown, the opportunists came out looking for victims and took full advantage knowing everyone was looking to have some fun after suffering near a year socially isolated from their friends. The methodical nature of it all is excruciatingly disappointing and disgusting. Scrolling through Facebook, I came across an article highlighting a spiking incident that happened to two American girls on a trip to Mexico. As disturbing as this event was, and from reading through the comments, it's become more horrifying due to how widespread the issue is throughout the world. Women in Europe, Asia and America had their own stories to tell, this is not an isolated issue. I could go on and on about how men need to do better, cop on and get their act together, as assaulting women shouldn't be a hobby or pastime. But if it wasn't blatantly obvious, this particular breed of man couldn't care less, so we really do have to look out for ourselves and possibly look into drug test kits, drinks covers and protection aids. It would also be important to come down a lot harder on those who perpetrate these crimes. The punishment should be so scary that they don’t give into their degenerate desires.

Many problems arise from having such crimes perpetrated, such as physical, emotional and mental trauma. As we all know, physical problems do tend to go away but the psychological damage inherited from such crimes can linger a lot longer than expected. Individuals report nightmares, insomnia, psychosis, dissociation, depression, anxiety, PTSD, C-PTSD and the list goes on and on. These symptoms can last anywhere from a few months to years. At the time of the attack, the brain will choose one of 4 responses: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. These are all different responses to stress hormones flooding the body at the time of an attack. If the body and brain believes that it is in danger, these primal responses kick in in order to keep us alive. No matter how our bodies respond, it is important to know that none of these responses are necessarily bad and are completely out of our control, as it doesn't come from the conscious mind, but the subconscious. And it tends to do as it pleases, these responses date back to when our ancestors came face to face with dangerous situations or animals. We could run from some animals or attempt to fight back, but other animals, they had no choice but to play dead in order to survive.

The fight response is the body's way of confronting threat or perceived threat in an aggressive manner. Typical signs of the fight response, would be teeth grinding, adrenalin rush and the urge to fight / attack the attacker, a burning knot in your stomach and crying. The flight response is the body's way of urging you to start running and to escape danger. You may feel trapped, fidgety, restless, numbness in the legs and of course, darting the eyes to the desirable area. The freeze response is the complete inability to move or defend oneself in the face of danger. The body may often feel complete paralysis, like the mind is locked away, disconnected from the limbs. But the mind can still be active with the sense of dread and distress, this response takes your decision making abilities away. The fawn response is the newest response identified and it basically means the body's response would be to appease the attacker to avoid danger, confrontation and conflict, by unwillingly submitting. This response also takes decision making abilities away. I suspect that each of these responses do correlate to different personality types, to some degree. Reactions and responses also largely depend on how the woman was raised. Was it a safe environment? what was her parents' relationship like? How did her parents show love to each other? How did they speak to the children? This is just a few of the factors that play into the development of personality. All this to say, that as children, we mirror and learn from the environment around us, and we also learn how to respond to stressful situations from our elders. Some women may learn to use their voice, others do not, they learn to stay silent. The body and mind responding to certain emotions in a regular setting (e.g at home) can affect how one would respond in a life threatening situation (in an alley). If a woman grows up feeling inadequate, shy or she never developed a voice to defend herself, she is far more unlikely to be able to advocate for herself. Therefore, they can fall victim to such crimes. A woman that may be outspoken, loud, confident and well adapted to defending herself, may have a different response such as to fight. That being said, it may not change the outcome, but the responses are different in different people.

I can’t speak for every other country but I can certainly speak for Ireland and will assume it’s fairly similar around Europe. Sexual assault and rape are taken seriously up until the victim comes out and says she has been sexually assaulted, then follows the plethora of comments suggesting that she’s a liar, she’s an attention seeker or maybe she’s embarrassed or regrets her decision so she is crying rape. That paired with the public humiliation, whispers, glares, comments, assumptions on her character and the possible alienation from social groups creates and extremely unsafe environment for the victim to speak out and therefore deters women from speaking up if they have been sexually assaulted in the past or present. It’s as if we can speak on how horrible the crime is but God forbid anyone speaks of their experience because if you do, “you are the problem”. In some ways people are more focused on keeping the perpetrator safe instead of the women who had just been raped. There have been stories published in popular news articles pertaining to sexual assault, rape and gangrape of innocent young women by popular rugby stars, judges, musicians, social media personalities and so forth. In society people will try defend or turn a blind eye to these crimes to keep the perpetrators reputation intact because “there’s no point in letting something like this ruin his life”. I suppose what I’m trying to articulate is that society believes rape is a bad thing up until it’s a brother, uncle or a friend that sexually assaults someone then its either not so bad, it didn’t happen or if it did happen it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person it means the women who suffered is bad for speaking up about it.

How do we change the mainstream attitude around sexual assault? We have to look within ourselves and ask why are we protecting predators? Why do they deserve our protection? We realize that if they aren’t held accountable to what they have done they will do it again. Isn’t it better that they take responsibility, do their time and become better people. Punishment isn’t always a bad thing sometimes it saves lives and changes us for the better.

premise 1: rape is bad

premise 2: women say she’s been raped

Society’s conclusion: well rape isn’t that bad it’s just nonconsensual sex we don’t want to ruin some young man’s life on this as he has so much potential. She’s probably lying anyways and if she’s not lying well, she’ll just get over it. In my opinion the environment is already set up in the structures of society. I’m not saying it’s a big thing, its subtle, so subtle that you’d barely notice its existence. To note I am not a believer in toxic masculinity as I don’t believe masculinity to be toxic, I believe it’s a necessity and has no bearing in the topics of sexual assault. I believe sex crimes to be rooted in psychological problems which is a massive mind field to explore but to say the least we have to watch what we have our young boys watching (porn), parents(relationships), peers(friendships) and so on. Young boys shouldn’t be exposed to the internet and what can be found on it (such as pornography) and that goes for all apps TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Reddit etc nowhere is safe as there are predators, pop up ads and self-advertisement on these apps that try to lure young boys in and it can warp their perception on themselves and on women.

Parental relationships play a key role in how boys will treat women in the future. Boys that see their father respecting and loving his mother tend to in turn respect and love their mother. Having fathers in the home provides a role model to look up to and follow. Peers become the center of a teenager’s life from 12/13 onwards and will have more influence than the parents at this age but the programming left by the parents will still be running in the background as this boy develops and discovers himself. All this to say a steady, safe and open environment can change the way men think of women. The topic is so much deeper than this I’m only scratching the surface but will be expanding at a later point.